I get asked once a shift: “Where’s the tap handle?” Look, people have been conditioned to think a forest of brass handles is the only way to drink a beer. They think if it doesn’t come out of a faucet, it’s not “fresh.” Those people are usually the same ones who don’t notice when a… Read more: The Can Truth (And a Cold Reality)

People walk in here and ask why we didn’t just strip the facade and start fresh. They think a new coat of paint and a name change is how you “rebrand” a business. Those people usually don’t understand how deep the roots go in this city. The “Bob-E-Lanes” part stays because it’s part of the… Read more: What’s in a Name? (And Why the “Still”)

It was ’74, maybe ’75. I was out in Vegas, supposedly for a bowling tournament, but I spent more time at the poker tables than on the lanes. Vegas back then wasn’t like it is now. It was grittier, and the gamblers were serious. I found myself in this high-stakes game at The Dunes. This… Read more: Better count your money

The contest is over. Stop asking. I fed all the names into the computer. It made a grinding noise that I didn’t like, the screen flickered green, and then it spit out a name. Aiden Paxton. Congratulations, Aiden. You are the new Resident Bowler of Bob-E-Lanes Still. I don’t know if you’re good at bowling.… Read more: THE COMPUTER PICKED A GUY

I had a meeting with the accountant this week. He used words like “engagement,” “brand awareness,” and “fun.” I told him I am aware of the brand. The brand is me, tired, behind the bar. But apparently, that is not enough. To get you people to pay attention to the bowling alley in 2026, I… Read more: The “Resident Bowler” Giveaway: A Terrible Idea

Turn, Turn, Turn Ah, fall. Or as I like to call it, nature’s last-ditch effort to look decent before succumbing to the inevitable drudgery of winter. The leaves change, people start guzzling pumpkin-spiced everything like it’s going out of style (which, let’s be honest, it should), and everyone pretends to enjoy apple picking. Me? I’ve… Read more: To Everything There is a Season

Listen up, ya bunch of whippersnappers! Ol’ Bob’s seen a lot of crazy fads come and go in his time. Pet rocks, disco, those pants that hung so low you could trip over your own backside… but this latest craze? This “cryptocurrency” and “NFT” nonsense? That takes the cake! Now, I’m a simple man. I… Read more: Crypto-what-now? And NFT’s? Is that some kinda disease?!

Back in my day, if you wanted to talk to someone, you picked up the phone or, heaven forbid, met them in person! You looked them in the eye, shook their hand, and had a real conversation. Now, you’ve got these whippersnappers glued to their screens, thumbs tapping away, completely oblivious to the world around… Read more: Social Media? More Like Anti-Social Media!

A lot of folks come into my bar and bowling alley, Bob-E-Lanes, and they ask me, “Hey, Bob, what do you think of this craft beer craze?” And I tell ’em, “It’s not a craze! It’s a fad!” Just like those bell bottoms you kids were wearin’ in the 70s. Or those disco balls you… Read more: Craft Beer: A Foamy, Hoppy Mess

Fashion, it seems, is always changing. One day, skinny jeans are in, the next day, it’s all about the mom jeans. It’s enough to make your head spin. Back in my day, we had style. Real style. You know, the kind that didn’t change every season. A good pair of jeans and a nice shirt,… Read more: Fashion: A Never-Ending Cycle